Welcome To Chronic Pain
The lump in my throat rises and I fight back tears even writing this now. I just. Can’t. Even.
But, every day, I close my eyes, take deep breaths and keep going.
My biggest struggles are with the idea of things I might not be able to do again.
- Obstacle races (unless someone wants to volunteer to carry me between obstacles).
- The Incline (until they install a zip line to come down)
- The CrossFit Open (unless they decide to do all upper body and body weight movement WODs)
- CrossFit competitions
I had my last PT appointment yesterday. Went over my exercises with Francisco at Memorial Outpatient Rehabilitation on Star Ranch Road one last time. Spent 15 minutes in traction – man, I’m going to miss that. And he sent me on my merry way. I’ll miss him – he was a good therapist. Always positive. And honest with me.
He’s done what he can with me. I have seen significant progress since we started. The nerve pain would kick in in less than a minute when we started. Now there are times that I can walk/stand for 10-15 minutes before it kicks in.
I’ve pretty much plateaued here. Only 10-15 minutes of pain-free walking makes me dread going to the grocery store. It requires me to plan ahead so I can move through in a very specific and efficient way, saving steps and time. I honestly started eyeing those powered riding carts at the front. I could avoid pain altogether if I used one. But I don’t “look” injured. It would “look” like I was just doing it for fun.
When I mentioned it to Zander, his initial reaction is, “You don’t need that, Mom, you can tough it out.” I looked at him for a moment, not knowing what I wanted to say to that. Then he said, “Oh. But that actually might really help your back.”
Earlier this week, I took Zevan to Sports Climbing Center. We didn’t have a lot of time and I had already done a CrossFit workout and a yoga class, so I let him climb while I belayed him. By the 3rd route, I had to sit on the ground to belay.
Yes, I started CrossFit again. Just like with yoga, I’m figuring out what movements I can do, and which ones require a substitute movement. Running is out, and rowing is an easy substitute. Double unders are out, and so far mountain climbers have replaced those. Step ups have been my box jump substitution for a while now.
I attempted barbell thrusters with a very light 45#, but that turned out to be not a good reintroduction to that movement and had to quit during the 2nd round. Next time I think I’ll just have to do body weight air squats. Shoulder press was still strong with sets of 3 at 85#. But heavy cleans, jerks and any kind of squats are out. I’ll have to rely on air squats and lunges for my posterior chain.
It’s good to be back doing CrossFit again, however, I can. I have missed the energy of my 6 am crew, and especially Coach Loree. I will be at the 6 am the class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the Saturday team WOD days.
If you have ever given me the excuse that you can’t do CrossFit because you’re not strong enough, come and join me now. If I can do it with my injury, then you can do it with a healthy, pain-free body.